From experience online friendships are damaging to the heart.  Most go into more than just chatting.  If you feel something is wrong down in your soul (gut) then trust your intuition.  My partner of 10 yrs said the same thing and I found out differently.  The web is an open portal to you life and opens opportunity to  things we would not normally be involved in.  People need to exercise caution because the computer is a powerful tool.  Many marriages have been ruined by an online affair.  Talk to your husband again ask him to chat with you in the room and to introduce you to his chat buddies see his reaction.  Affairs can happen whether it's emotional, intelluctual or physical, they all hurt.  Everything we do affects others whether we like it or not.  So sometimes our gut feelings is right on.  This is just my opion.  The rest is for you to trust your own instincts.

(memo)   My psychic sense tells me that you need to deal with this because he's not done. 

I just wanted to say that I think sheila your advice is very good. I am kind of going through the same with a partner and it is very difficult to try and understand why the person you love would want to do this kind of thing! Just trusting in your instinct is good enough and should not be ignored.

Pam,

I know how you feel.. It may not have been a physical relationship, but him chatting with, and letting another person into his life, can really feel like a betrayal.    I actually met my husband online, 8 years ago.. and about two years into our relationship I found out he was communicating with someone online, and it was very devastating to me.  It was something he was doing just for fun, and had no intention of ever meeting the person, but it took a while for me to forgive him, and for him to regain my trust.  I am glad I didnt let be our downfall, cause we are more in love today then we have ever been.  I guess every relationship goes through ups and downs, and people get bored and try and entertain themselves with the fantasy of another life, or something.. all I know that, yes, sometimes very real and true feelings can be conveyed via the internet, but sometimes, its all a show.

Like the other person said trust your inner most feelings.  What are your inner most feelings telling you about the situation.  And look for some signs too.  Like his interest in you.  Are your sexual habits the same or have they completely stopped?  Have they become less frequent?  You know that kind of stuff.  Has he been acting weird around you or when you come into the room while he's chatting he gets all jumpy.  But I'd trust what my inner voice is telling me.

Just be glad that it is only on line.  It is when they touch the real flesh that the breeding begins.  There is no go back when that happens.  Try doing the something unpredictable when it comes to your husband and make him want you more than he wants his online flings.