I don't even know why I'm posting this. I guess because I am hurt and I don't want to talk to any of my friends who are familiar with the situation. My love. The dude I've loved since forever... I've had to let go of. I had no choice. I'm older now. I see clearer and I have standards. I'm with someone that I don't want to be with and after years of being indecisive I asked him to move out. Because I know I don't love him. He was a place holder for a dream that I knew would more than likely not come to realization. It has to end. I am starting from scratch. It's scary, lonely, exhilarating and motivating all at the same time. Most of all though my heart is broken. Broken. I never really expected us to be together but to lose him as a friend and everything else? Damn. I feel stupid because I knew I would lose him. I was being greedy and childish. Just stupid. I refuse to cry because I knew better. But damn ya'll. It's over.

LIVE LOVE LAUGH AND DANCE LIKE NOBODY'S WATCHING

Hi Mona. It seems that you were able to make a decision that took you some time to act on and I don't think that is stupid or you are either. I sence you are a strong person who can make sound decisions that you CAN live with. Just as you decided to stay for such a period of time. You stressed the clarity and standard you have and I believe in order to have such conviction at all is amazing and honorable to a very important person, YOU.

Keep giving yourself time to adapt to the changes.Not all is lost. You gained experiences and received personal growth during the years, right? Many people never grow and lose themselves in the process and stay stagnant. Yes, any type of lost is devastating, especially of a loved one, but not having your goals for today and future will keep you going back to old feelings.

Visit the old places you shared with confidence and make new memories. Enjoy the present moment you are in. When your with your friends and cannot talk about your true feelings, though if their not judgmental will help you to relieve emotions, think again of the moment your in, go along as hard as it may be, start. Feel the way you feel!!!

You say you cannot cry, do you think something is wrong with this and you should be? Shouls you be crying? Trust your true feelings and allow them be exactly what they are by accepting them. try not to be hard on yourself and cherish the treasures within. Who knows, you may even help another who is going through the same things as you find excitement with the new experiences in your  journey of your new path.

Aletheia

wow.... yeah ive been there and i definetly know how you feel.... i hate to say it but im kinda in the same situation..... and i constantly try to compare my previous boyfriend to my ex its frusterating its been 3 years since me and my first boyfriend broke up and my heart still aches for him.... im sorry about your situation but feel free to talk about it with me....