To say a person cannot change is like saying that the is no possibility for growth. forgiveness is a vital key to growth. It will still boil down to a personnal decision.

Been there

I couldn't have said it better. The people in the relationship have to make the decision to want something more together. Everyone can change if they want to, it's called growing. Your absolutely positively right.

Cheated on too

I am married to a wonderful person and we have always been faithful to one another, but I do wonder sometimes how natural manogamy really is. Are we really supposed to give ourselves to one person only? If my husband cheated on me, I would have to forgive him, but I don't think I could forgive him more than once. People need to realize what there partner expects of them and try there best to adhere to that concept only. What everyone else thinks is irrelevant.

Hillary

In my mind, I say no second chances. However, I have been in my relationship for almost 21 years. During these years my partner has had 6 affairs that I know of. The one that hurt me the most was when he had an affair with his brothers ex-girlfriend. The one before that was when he had an affair with one of the girls in the office at work. One was with our next door neighbour before her marriage broke up and she moved away. Another was with some woman he met at the beach. The three before that...1, I cannot remember, the other two were a friend of his that turned romance, and another office girl. We have two children. Almost 2 years ago though, after a particularly nasty time, I found the courage to tell him to go. That our relationship was over. For two days he hounded me until I took him back. It was not a good or healthy decision on my part. Now, I wish to leave but cannot due to not having anywhere to go and no money either.

Tranquility

We aren't married, but have been heavily involved for over a year, and just last night he was with another woman, my own eyes don't lie, and i dont have a clue how i going to deal withit, so this was a queston made just for me it would seem.

Teresa

If you really are in love, you should never have to worry about a second chance. Love should always be binding between two people.

Ann

Why should I give her a second chance, I'm a Christian and she broke one of The Ten Commandments,"Thou shall not commit adultry."

Alsolomano

It happens. It´s a bit silly top think it wouldn´t happen to you. Being in a relationship doesn´t mean you own someone and also it doesn´t mean you can´t get arroused anymore. If my partner shows enough love to me, stays with me out of free will and pleases me in bed, and has safe sex, why should I worry? I get what I want and when the partner can deal with it, I can.

Simone

This is directed at Alsolomano. If we're talking Christianity and the ten commandments, your're right. But, also remember God teaches us to forgive. So, I forgave once and felt good that I did it. It allowed me to grow. There are some folks out there that cannot forgive though and that is their right and path to choose. But, if they can forgive they can grow and be even more loving and stronger in thier relationship for having loved and lived through the experience. But, that is just me, there used to be a time years ago when I would scorn you forever if you slighted me. It took a lot of trials and tribulations for me to learn to forgive. But, I'm glad I did because it freed me.

Cheated on too

Since we believe in polyamory, I can't really relate to this question--but I have forgiven other things.

Nameless

Dear Cheated on too,[the one who directed his/her comment at me] Your absolutely right, God does tell us to forgive, and I'm glad you did forgive the person that cheated on you. Anyway thank you for telling me that. If I could change my poll I would. Thank you, Alsolomano

Alsolomano

I responded that I don't know because it really does depend on the situation...and there could be extenuating circumstances.

Anonymous

If I ever caught my spouse cheating on me I would never give them a second chance.If you let them do it once they just might do it agian.It's not worth a second briken heart!!!

The turtle lover

If i caught my spouse cheating at me NO second chans becaurse if he didnt know he had something great when he got me he do not diseve me !!

Linda

Depends, if she came forth with another woman & they got me to join in , id prolly go for it , if it was behind back , shifty & ****ed , fck em , no trust , no love. in that case best just to bury em outback or trade em in !

StoneOz