Poll Discussions

Re: Infidelity

srobbins77 — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 04:25:34 GMT

Whoa! Indeed! Your response sounds really emotional.

We do live in an imperfect world. And sometimes the best thing is to look at that painful situation and see what you can learn from the experience. Release, forgive and move on
to the next life lesson. I wish you peace and love.

Sharon
Medical Transcriptionist student
http://www.meditec.com
http://www.myspace.com/workingfromhomemom

Re: Infidelity

openblueminds — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 09:46:10 GMT

Whoa Whoa!!! Hold On There . . . JUST TO THROW IT OUT THERE I AM NOT IN ANY WAY SAYING THAT INFIDELITY IS OK OR JUST AT ALL. Pain, Misery, Wallowing, Anger Are Not Part Of The Package When We Are Born With. We Are Born Perfect And Without Flaws. These . . . Emotions Are Not Ours At All. They Stem From The Definitions That We Are Given And Passed Down To. All Of That Is Knowledge, Ethics And Moralities Are TAUGHT To Us. Only When We Give Into These Emotions Do We Truly Show That We Feel Insecurities. I Think We Have Gone Back To The Stone Age With How We Deal With Our Emotions And Others Its Just More Modern How We Do It Now. And Now Remember That It Takes "Two" For Infidelity To Work Not Just The Second Party Is Responsible. And As I'm Sure Not Everyone Knowingly Trying To Break Relationships. And It Only Matters When You Let It Matter. No One Can Hurt You Mentally Only If You Let Them. . .

Re: Infidelity

maureen — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 15:48:45 GMT

SIMPLE............... INFIDELITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is WRONG!!!!!!!!! WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Don't get involved, Stay SINGLE, and sow your wild oat's. But keep out of the way of the lives of people looking for a RELATIONSHIP.Don't go out of your way to cause pain,and break up something beautiful, just because you can,. How selfish that would be, and then make the excuse that it does'nt matter,Cos IT DOES, We are all RESPONSIBLE for our own action's, ever heard of CRIMES OF PASSION? Don't be foolish and put the bullet in the gun for the agrieved partner to FIRE.................We all have a responsibility to do the right thing, Otherwise we may as well go back to CAVEMAN day's, Heaven forbid.We have moved on from that prehistoric attitude I hope. We are human being,s, pain, misery, wallowing, anger,are part of the package we are born with, but we also were given the gift,s of knowing right from wrong, justice and fair play, knowing when to say NO.I don't want to go out of my way to break up a happy home,I want to find my own OASIS. without destoying some one else,s.LOVE AND PEACE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Infidelity

openblueminds — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 12:21:04 GMT

There Is No Need For "Straight Answer" Because Life In General Cannot Be Broken Down To Simple Answers. If You Need Them, Then Your Being Way Too Analytical On A Part Of Life. That Is No Good For You. What Is A "Woman's Trust" Mean, Consist Of, Need, Made Up With Unwritten Rules?. I Agree That Bad Things Do Happen. There's No Need To Be In Denial, Push'em Under The Rug. Why Do You Express Them...? What Do You Gain From That? When You're Being Present, You're Never "Stuck". Why Would You Have A Need To Pretend? How Is It You Feel Pain With Emotions? Its An Ego Issue And Is Greatly Overlooked And Not Given Enough Attention. Ask Your Self: Why Is It That An Action That Someone Else Did Hurt Me? Why Is It Hurting Me. Or More Importantly "Why Am I Allowing/Letting This Situation To Which I Have No Power Over Make Me "Feel Pain". Alot Of The "Painful Emotions" Come From A Deep Rooted Insecurity That Manifests It Self. Why (I Call It "Wallow" And Get Stuck In Misery) Brood Anger, And Stay In A Situation That Makes You Uncomfortable? Leave That Situation And Look For Positive Things In Life. Being Happy Is A 24 Hour Job. Working Hard For It Is A Requirement. Remember That Everyone Is Just A Human Being. Because You Are Who You Are, They Are Who They Are.

Re: Infidelity

maureen — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 16:14:49 GMT

All I can say to that whole comment is( thank goodness I'm single.) Totally Confused.YES!. But thats men for you.they never give a straight answer to anything,I think the comments had something to do with living in the present,and that others comment's were a' going no where type of attitude' attached to them, We all had TRUST,but bad things happen, we don't live in denial about them, or push them under the rug, we express them, we don,t stay stuck in the present, we don't pretend,PAIN is A very human emotion, let it go, then move on.....................

Re: Infidelity

openblueminds — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 18:40:39 GMT

I Think A Male Point Of View Is Needed Since You All Have Pretty Much the Same "Going Nowhere Attitude". See It Like We Do (Well For The Most Part). No! Its Not That We Like To Do It, No! Not Everyman Does It, Its Not That We Don't Care, Yes We Do Feel Just Not The Way Women Do.

There Is No One You "Can Trust" Out There In The World Because Trust Does Not Come Out In, But From The In Out. Trust Is A Blind Faith With No Stings Attached Otherwise It Wouldn't Be "Trust" It Would Become Conditional Love. That's Where Marriage Or The Common Conceived "I Give You Me In Exchange For You Giving Yourself To Me. Which We Think Is Love But Really Its Just A Conditional Love.

Now, You Will Never Find Love!!! Why? Because When We (Think) We Have Love But Only Comes From Outside Sources We'll Always Doom Ourself To Pain. We Are Love And The Perfect Beings Already. Its Your Beleifs System That Are Not Working For You And You Need To Change. You Will Always Have What You Are Willing To Put With.

So Come On, Stop With All These "I Hope", "I Know That I Will Find The One", etc,etc. Hope Alone Will Not Keep you Afloat On A Sea Of Your Own Doing.Stop Living In The Past! Forget It, Don't Focus Too Much In The Future, It Is Never In Reach, Just Be Here In The Now, Thats Why Its A Gift The Present, Its Never Repeated Twice Never Good Or Bad. That Is the Mentality Of Men. Try It If It Doesn't Work Out Then Changed It

Re:to Lifespirit

maureen — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 16:46:43 GMT

I have just read your very deep feelings on the subject of "infidelity".I am Maureen, you may have read mine on line. I totally agree with what you say about forgiving yourself for your choices in love. I myself walk that very same path with you, you are not alone Lifespirit,I too, hope to find the love of a decent man after my wrong choices in love, He is out there, and I will meet him one day. So may I say good luck to you in your pursuit of happiness Lifespirit, Dont give up.Keep your chin up.be happy............................

Re: Infidelity

lifespirit — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 09:38:19 GMT

ah huh! i can relate... (6 yrs ago.... i left my ex) i think if i try to heal my pain associated with my ex and his cheating.... or try to forgive him and place what belongs to him...... his garbage... his guilt.... his need to be dishonest... ect... if i give it all back to him.... and go on with my life .... i will be able to have a wonderful relationship..... no no no.... it is not that simple i guess.... i am not sure exactly what i am needing to do to release my-self from the past hurt of my ex and his cheating.... i have cried many, many times... i have not allowed my-self to be responsible for his garbage.... but deep inside i still hurt.... i still fear.... i was recently in a relationship and this man.... stayed at work late.... till 2-am or sometimes 4 am .... mean while i am waiting for him to come home..... he choose to not tallk about anything at all, except for whatever was in the moment. there was so much simularity to my ex and his behaviors and patterns that i had to end this relationship..... this all disappointed me because i really wanted a relationship.... but this man was not going to be the one i spend the rest of my life with..... i think i would for the sake of my fear of being hurt .... i think i would rather be single for the rest of my life..... sounds depressing ... but at this point in my life.... i need to work on forgiving me for making choices that caused me hurt.... i need to love me more then i love anyone else.... i need to be able to take care of me..... and not worry if mr wonderful is around the corner..... some day when i am not looking my prince will come.... when i am ready on the inside that is....

Re: Infidelity

Tiny — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 22:28:36 GMT

I believe ALL and ANY commitments/marriage should always be respected.

If one is not happy then they should have enough respect for the other

and tell them.

Re: Infidelity

da_scary_monste — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 00:17:11 GMT

Anonymous:
To say a person cannot change is like saying that the is no possibility for growth. forgiveness is a vital key to growth. It will still boil down to a personnal decision.

Been there

I think this is spot on.

My husband cheated on me prior to us getting married. I tried to break it off with him several times both before (but for a different reason) and after the incident. He convinced me he wanted to be with me and only me, so being in love I did.

It's been three years since, and we are genuinely okay. It's taken me this long to heal as well, but I definitely know he's being faithful.

I'm not going to say keep him around. But just keep in mind that people DO make mistakes, and maybe there are things he can work on to make it up to you.

Re: Infidelity

maureen — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 17:42:07 GMT

Thankyou MaryLou, I'm sure you are right.i can wait for the right man to come along!

Re: Infidelity

MaryLou — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 03:59:45 GMT

There are good men out there. I know. I am married to one. Never cheated and (hopefully) never will. Don't give up hope. You will find someone deserving of you.

Re: Infidelity

maureen — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 19:43:57 GMT

Alas! you are right! also,"Angry", you bet, Why?, You would have to walk in my shoes, as word's can never explain my ...................Anger!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hostile.................. The price some of us pay for being on the receiving end of the dreaded DEED.................. But time will help the healing process I'm sure, first we must release all the negative, Be honest about how hurt we feel, about how angry we feel, about how such an issue does also bring forth our inner hostilities.THEN and only then can we begin to heal and hopefully one day find REAL, honest ? true LOVE again................................ if that's what we want. some do! some don't. I, me, very much want to grab it once again with both hand's. but first I need to let out the anger ?hostility!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, dear reader, of my weakness's, and not let it turn septic inside. I'm setting myself free, so I can LOVE again.You bet ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't give up on me yet, There is alway's hope, don't sound so afraid, it's ok! to express your dark side, and get rid of it for good. Don't cling on to it.LET IT OUT.....................................

Re: Infidelity

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 02:28:12 GMT

You're right, but so angry and hostile.

Re: Infidelity

maureen — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 17:43:09 GMT

Well! well!,Life is not a bowl of cherries,It's what we make it, and being with a partner that cheats is still a "BIG DEAL" as far as I'm concerned, it is not alright to make promises of fideliity, and then go off and "CHEAT" it's "CRUEL & HURTFUL,Are these so called human beings really that emotionally imature, to think that the blinding pain, fractured promises & broken vow's they inflict is going to be forever acceptable, or that they will receive a minor ticking off from the cheated partner, before tea. That special bond is lost forever. The deceit is immense.They have no moral code.Lying to the people you love most is cruel.To dismiss an affair as a minor "blip"could not be further from the nasty, sordid, embarrasing & humiliating truth.