I will try to keep this brief but after reading one of the other posts on here felt obliged to put what is happening to me. I have been very hard on myself about it but I will let you be the judge of that and if anyone can shed any light on the situation that would be great because it has my head thumping hard.

Will try to be brief.  Four and half years ago, my partner of 10 years who I met online, introduced new thoughts into our relationship, new ways of thinking, basically wanting to experiment sexually with other couples etc or trying out his fantasies.  He did this through the internet chatting to women, couples online and I was totally gobsmacked.  I came home one Valentines Day thinking I had a nice present to find he had auctioned me on a website to the fella who basically gave the best caption I guess.  Anyway because of these introductions etc into our life, and I may add a one year old child, I felt our relationship must be over and started an affair, which he knew about, I have never done anything like it before but I sought from this relationship what I wasn't getting at home.  Four years on, the whole lot fell apart, my lover if I can call him that has not lied to me about his relationships with other women, but has now fallen for a 28 year old girl and tried to finish my relationship with him but continues to ring me every day and my partner that I live with has said he is moving out.  He has been with someone for 2 years but finished it last week.  Its a complete mess, we both messed up, the internet is a dangerous place for relationships.  I love two men, been stupid, been used but am still in love with two men.  My partner who I lived with has turned everything on me saying its my fault but obviously the lifestyle he wanted us to have backfired on him.  I am left in turmoil and basically see it as my own fault, but do feel that I was pushed into it, liked what I had and had my cake and eat it so to speak.  In reality I am hurting badly, hurt by two men I have shown my love to and given myself too.  Both of whom now don't seem to want to leave me alone.  Why I don't know.  But this is the result of not doing something about my own relationship some four years ago and the hurt and pain that arose from the introduction of stuff of the internet, like dating sites etc to what I thought was a one to one relationship and the start of my new family

"(I)feel that I was pushed into it","the introduction of stuff of the internet...a dangerous place for relationships.", "I love two men, been stupid, been used but am still in love with two men". I Noticed These The Most As I Was Reading It. There Is Never A Right Or Wrong, Only Action And Reaction. When You Meet Your Significant Other Online It Was Good? Why Did it Change When Your Significant Other Found The Same Thing? You Are In An Entanglement Largely Brought On By Your Own Doing. You Are In A Crisis, And Need To Choose.

"In reality I am hurting badly, hurt by two men I have shown my love to and given myself too. (Both of whom now don't seem to want to leave me alone.  Why I don't know.)[This Is Your Pride/Ego]  (But this is the result of not doing something about my own relationship some four years ago)[You Know Its Your Fault] and the hurt and pain (that arose from the introduction of stuff of the internet, like dating sites etc)[Your Still saying That None Of this Is Your Fault] to what I thought was a one to one relationship and the start of my new family." You Already Know What To Do So What Stoping You? You Need To Look Inside And Face The Consequences(reaction) Of What You Have Set In Motion(action).

Do you know what you want? What makes you happy. Please dont do things for others to make them happy if you are not happy doing these things. If you love someone and they want to try new things you should talk about it first before you try it. That way you can tell them how you feel about it.

You did not know what you were getting into and now you know that it is nothing but heart ache. You need to think about what you want for your self and your child. You dont need someone to tell you what you want, figure it out and then do what is right for you.